Prologue

A Decision Takes Shape

There are decisions that are not made overnight. They mature in quiet hours, grow out of subtle doubts, and are nourished by questions one carries within for a long time. Often, everything begins with a barely noticeable unease—a feeling that something is not right, even when everything outwardly appears correct and in order.

One smiles.

One functions.

One continues along the familiar path.

But inside, a quiet voice is knocking.

At first, it is hardly audible. One ignores it, keeps busy with other things, and tells oneself that everything is proceeding as usual. But this voice does not disappear. It waits patiently—and keeps returning.

And at some point, it becomes so clear that it can no longer be ignored.

For me, it was the question of God—not the distant God of tradition and Sunday rituals, but the living, near God that my heart was seeking. Not just a God one talks about, but a God one can experience.

This search gradually led me away from what my family and surroundings took for granted—and toward a path that I myself did not yet fully understand at the time.

It is not easy to take a step when one already knows it may lead to misunderstanding or even rejection. I struggled with myself for a long time before leaving the Catholic Church and joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

It was not a spontaneous decision.

It was the result of years of searching—for God, for truth, for the meaning of life, and for a fulfillment that I had not been able to find in my previous religious environment.

A search that would change my thinking, my heart, and ultimately my entire life.

Why “For This Reason”?

“For This Reason”—yes, the title is unusual. Since I began writing this book, I have often thought about how to summarize my decision in a single word. “For This Reason” is that expression. It stands for the reason I left the Catholic Church, for my search for God, for truth, for the meaning of life—and for a fulfillment I had not found before.

This “For This Reason” encompasses many years of reading, reflecting, and praying; visiting numerous congregations of different denominations; as well as insights into Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. It stands for all the questions that have accompanied me since childhood—for weighing, comparing, and for the quiet, persistent longing of my heart.

In the end, my path led me to a community where I found answers and peace—to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

But “For This Reason” stands for something else as well.

This expression is also an answer.

An answer to reactions in my personal environment.

Especially from my family of origin—my parents and some of my siblings—there were repeatedly critical, sometimes very hurtful voices in the years following my conversion. My faith was attacked, my decision questioned, and at times the words did not only strike my convictions but also me personally.

I remember emails from a brother and a sister. In them, I was told that I had been led astray by Satan. I was assured that if I continued on this path, I would end up in hell.

Later, through conversations, I also learned that some of my brothers had spoken about me—and that similar words had been used. I am one of ten children of our parents. And yet, in these conversations, I was repeatedly described as someone who follows satanic teachings.

This did not only make me sad. It hurt me deeply.

Above all, it created a divide that ran through our family.

When I heard what was being said about me, or read what my siblings wrote, I kept asking myself the same question:

What is actually being misunderstood here?

How is it that my search for God—a search that is peaceful and sincere to me—becomes something so threatening to others?

How can a harmless spiritual search become such a mystery that people even see something demonic in it?

I, too, made mistakes during this time. Sometimes I allowed myself to be provoked by the attacks and responded sharply. Looking back, I wish I had shown more calmness and patience in some moments.

This book is therefore also an attempt at understanding.

Perhaps it will reach someone who never wanted to talk to me about it. Or someone who wanted to, but never dared.

This book is meant to be a bridge—across a silence that has settled between us.

Those who feel unable to speak with me about it may perhaps read these lines instead. And those who read them may come to understand me a little better—without fearing that I want to persuade or proselytize.

For one thing I have learned:

Conviction cannot be forced.

Just as I cannot convince someone, no one can convince me.

The truth, as I have come to know it, is not revealed through intellect or arguments alone. It does not show itself only through logical reasoning.

Truth is also felt.

For me, it is the Holy Spirit that gives me this feeling—a quiet yet clear certainty of whether something is true in a divine sense. Then I am left with a decision: to ignore this truth or to accept it.

“For This Reason” is thus more than a title.

It is an answer to much that was never spoken.

With “For This Reason,” I am saying:

There are reasons. Many reasons, and good reasons, for my decision.

If you, dear reader, wish, then walk with me for a while on this path.

Perhaps, along the way, the meaning of this expression will also unfold for you:

For This Reason.